Fall...

Getting 3/4 of the yoga mom clan back together. wow! that's a lot of kids!

I'm not sure if Sofia is smoothing out or if I simply lost in the face of her iron personality. Or it may be a bit of both. I'd been frustrated that even though we should be moving out of survival phase now that the kids are in 3+ years old, Sofia takes up so much physical and emotional space that I don't have a free breath to do much else. She wakes up in the night demanding I come sleep next to her, wakes early and immediately starts with screaming demands for oatmeal, kicking me  if I don't move fast enough for her and won't go to sleep at night unless someone rubbed her back. The other kids have been held hostage to her behavior. I tried to put boundaries around her behavior but those been unsuccessful. I tried shutting her in her room but she just took any hard object she could find and banged it against the door so hard that the object broke and/or the door got severely dented. In hopes of keeping the door alive I gave up on that. I used a child proof door knob but clearly those aren't Sofia-proof. She dismantled that in under 10 seconds. Any rule or limit I put on things - like trying to read only 4 books before bed and not 10 so that I could also do bedtime with Diego/Charlie was met with fierce rebuke and temper-tantrums. They temper-tantrums certainly don't instill much good will or desire to read that extra books so she and I both ended up mad.

I think school is working - she uses her words more than her fists now and I've basically let go of forcing my boundaries on her. Instead I try to be  proactive in engaging her in any decision - which is tiring - and then guiding or redirect her when she starts spiraling downwards - which is even more tiring. I think, I hope, I really, really hope that she's becoming happier. I went to the doctor to talk about it and she suggested starting with alone time with Sofia during which time Sofia can be the total boss and get lots of positive reinforcement. I've been trying that and generally spending time dedicated just to her. The other weekend we spent 6 hours at the art museum together. She was so engaged and sweet until her brothers showed up 5 hours into it and the last hour went downhill.

 

As part of giving up my rules on Sofia, I gave up putting her to bed before I do any bedtime stuff with the boys. I've been feeling guilty about not working with Diego on his reading so now we practice words before Sofia goes to sleep. I'm so worried about his reading and how annoyed he gets by practicing, but the teacher seems to think he is fine. She says that his comprehension is so much higher than his reading level that he feels bored and frustrated by the books in his level. Probably true given the books my mom is reading with him and I hope that means that once he does get better at reading he will really love it. 

Charlie seems pretty good overall - he is generally really nice, has great friends, does well in school, well at soccer/baseball, well in music (joined a chorus and playing piano) and likes his new chess class. Of course I need to worry about him too so my worry is that all the well-roundedness means I don't see the depth of curiosity that I see in Diego. Diego wants to bring every artifact my mom shows him to his science teacher. He loves science and can build an intricate world - both with building materials and in his own mind. 

I guess there is always something to worry about. First it's nursing or fevers and then hitting milestones and then finding good child care and then and then and then....And this doesn't even touch on the worry I have about the current political state of affairs. On election day I dragged them to vote despite the complaints of Carlos and then burst into tears when Charlie submitted my ballot. What an amazing time in history I thought that the first presidents my kids will know are the first african-american president and the first female president. And now I've been mourning for over a week and wondering what the impact will be on the community here and across the country.

Sofia as Darth Vader, Diego the Ninja and Charlie the Vampire (again)