Fall...

Getting 3/4 of the yoga mom clan back together. wow! that's a lot of kids!

I'm not sure if Sofia is smoothing out or if I simply lost in the face of her iron personality. Or it may be a bit of both. I'd been frustrated that even though we should be moving out of survival phase now that the kids are in 3+ years old, Sofia takes up so much physical and emotional space that I don't have a free breath to do much else. She wakes up in the night demanding I come sleep next to her, wakes early and immediately starts with screaming demands for oatmeal, kicking me  if I don't move fast enough for her and won't go to sleep at night unless someone rubbed her back. The other kids have been held hostage to her behavior. I tried to put boundaries around her behavior but those been unsuccessful. I tried shutting her in her room but she just took any hard object she could find and banged it against the door so hard that the object broke and/or the door got severely dented. In hopes of keeping the door alive I gave up on that. I used a child proof door knob but clearly those aren't Sofia-proof. She dismantled that in under 10 seconds. Any rule or limit I put on things - like trying to read only 4 books before bed and not 10 so that I could also do bedtime with Diego/Charlie was met with fierce rebuke and temper-tantrums. They temper-tantrums certainly don't instill much good will or desire to read that extra books so she and I both ended up mad.

I think school is working - she uses her words more than her fists now and I've basically let go of forcing my boundaries on her. Instead I try to be  proactive in engaging her in any decision - which is tiring - and then guiding or redirect her when she starts spiraling downwards - which is even more tiring. I think, I hope, I really, really hope that she's becoming happier. I went to the doctor to talk about it and she suggested starting with alone time with Sofia during which time Sofia can be the total boss and get lots of positive reinforcement. I've been trying that and generally spending time dedicated just to her. The other weekend we spent 6 hours at the art museum together. She was so engaged and sweet until her brothers showed up 5 hours into it and the last hour went downhill.

 

As part of giving up my rules on Sofia, I gave up putting her to bed before I do any bedtime stuff with the boys. I've been feeling guilty about not working with Diego on his reading so now we practice words before Sofia goes to sleep. I'm so worried about his reading and how annoyed he gets by practicing, but the teacher seems to think he is fine. She says that his comprehension is so much higher than his reading level that he feels bored and frustrated by the books in his level. Probably true given the books my mom is reading with him and I hope that means that once he does get better at reading he will really love it. 

Charlie seems pretty good overall - he is generally really nice, has great friends, does well in school, well at soccer/baseball, well in music (joined a chorus and playing piano) and likes his new chess class. Of course I need to worry about him too so my worry is that all the well-roundedness means I don't see the depth of curiosity that I see in Diego. Diego wants to bring every artifact my mom shows him to his science teacher. He loves science and can build an intricate world - both with building materials and in his own mind. 

I guess there is always something to worry about. First it's nursing or fevers and then hitting milestones and then finding good child care and then and then and then....And this doesn't even touch on the worry I have about the current political state of affairs. On election day I dragged them to vote despite the complaints of Carlos and then burst into tears when Charlie submitted my ballot. What an amazing time in history I thought that the first presidents my kids will know are the first african-american president and the first female president. And now I've been mourning for over a week and wondering what the impact will be on the community here and across the country.

Sofia as Darth Vader, Diego the Ninja and Charlie the Vampire (again)

Sofia Starts School

First Day of Brent Elementary

For over a year now Sofia would walk around Brent Elementary like she belonged there - bossing bigger kids around and talking to the teachers. But when it came time to think about starting school she refused. And when Sofia refuses something there is little room for negotiation. I'd start to talk about school and she'd just scream her piercing scream to drown me out. She was not going. Ms Sadowsky came for a home visit and we went to visit the classroom which appeased her just enough to test it the first day. She did great. So great in fact that we got a very sweet note from her teacher. She came home beaming. She loved school....until she realized she had to go everyday and nap time was mandatory. It's been about two weeks and she loves school but hates naptime. I'm not sure if it's a proxy for another concern but naptime is bringing back the shrieking refusals. Another comical/challenging aspect is that Sofia doesn't like to wear clothes. It's been so hot recently that everyday after school she takes off her shirt and runs around half-naked. I pick my battles with her and I quickly realized that this was not one I would win.

Sofia's friend walked her to class

1/2 naked Sofia and Ruby "hiding" in the hall

Charlie has Ms Mashari who seems very nice, but his classmates aren't his favorite. It's such a bummer that he gets stuck in a class with only one friend. There are many sweet kids in his grade, but they all seem to be in a different class. Charlie does fine/well but lacks some discipline. If I ask him to do his reading, he'll wander in circles, find some toy he hasn't ever been interested in, suddenly remember a song he wanted to add to his playlist, brush his hair and basically just wait until I get increasingly annoyed about the fact that he isn't doing his reading.

Diego loves his teacher this year - Ms Yokum. She is very thoughtful, positive and never harsh. Just what Diego likes. I just hope he'll turn a corner on reading this year. He is so creative and curious - he hunts bugs and brings them to his science teacher, he loves the artifacts my mom collects and he loves to be read to but reading is not a strength.

Diego and Rupert with Cicadas on their shirts

With fall comes more work trips and I was gone all last week and will be traveling a fair amount the next few months. This last one was tough for everyone - probably because it was the first in awhile. I had to be in Geneva Labor Day Monday at 8am which was hectic timing. Everyone survived but not totally happily....

SUMMER!

Well I used to aim to write once a week, but now it looks like I am going for once a season! We had a terrific summer. We spent it in Santa Barbara and up the California coast which was a good way to avoid the 99 degree weather in DC. I was so happy to see how much my kids loved Santa Barbara. I put them in a camp run by my 5th grade teacher at my old elementary school! how cool is that?! Charlie LOVED it. He begged and begged to go a 2nd week which was a logistical challenge for us, but worth it given how much he loved it. I think it helped that he had a crush on one of the counselors in training....Diego liked zoo camp more and then they both loved skateboard camp. What's not to love about that?

After camp we'd head to the beach where they'd play for hours and not get bored. And then seemed to carry the beach home everyday in our car. My poor mom tried to vacuum the mess but it would reappear the next day. Diego especially loved the beach. He never seemed to get bored of digging in the sand or bouncing in the waves. We did have to invest in wetsuits though because we are total water wimps.  I let Diego boogie board even though he isn't a great swimmer and I think he got a little scared from getting tumbled too many times so he just liked to float on the board through the waves.

I loved it because I got to reconnect with old friends and simply enjoy the beautiful view. Spending time with Caroline and her girl Eloise were a highlight for me. I love the idea of our girls being friends.
 
The view from our house was great - Amazing what a view does for my mood. My mom was faced with the challenge of watching Sofia while the kids were in camp so she experience the full Fia Factor. Sofia is a force of nature and not one that I've been able to harness in a positive way (yet). I tried to put Sofia in zoo camp but she refused - all out screaming, flopping on the pavement, etc. Everyone loved Fiesta and we carried back extra eggs to break over people's head at some point this year....


The other fun factor was that Carlos planned a major surprise for my birthday. I had been hoping to see a bunch of people I care about but never get to see sometime during my 40th year of life and he convinced many of them to come for the weekend. He is a terrible planner, but he sure surprised me.

After SB we headed to Yosemite for some hiking and a family camp setting with the Nicolettis and then to SF for Stephanie's amazing wedding. I love weddings and I love hearing people's toasts. Stephanie's mom's toast had me in tears (in a good way!). Now we're facing the start of school and - as usual - are not totally prepared. In fact Sofia is totally refusing to go to school. Anytime I mention the idea she screams her ear-piercing, high-pitched scream and shuts down the topic. I don't know how I'm going to get her out the door and 2 blocks up the road

Soggy Spring

Sofia as a villain...what a surprise!

It's been a really soggy spring in DC. It's rained so much that baseball season has been mostly rained-out.  Given that baseball is meant to take up 3 nights a week and most of the day Saturday I haven't minded a few cancellations...We are also facing threats about an all-consuming soccer season which I've put off as well. What happened to organized community or school sports? Travel soccer starting at age 7 seems like a crazy use of my/our/charlie's time. Baseball fortunately is all on the Hill which I love. Charlie played up to AAA and Diego played up to AA. The jump was much bigger for Charlie as he is the youngest and smallest player on the team and they move to player pitch. Not getting knocked out by an errant pitch seems like the top priority, followed by just getting walked and hitting the ball is the last option. Watching him pitch has been the most fun because I love to see how confident he is on the mound. I, of course, impose my horror at the thought of all eyes on me as I throw a pitch, but Charlie loves it and seems to do pretty well.  I hope that confidence never goes away. Diego is playing well and excels even in AA though he doesn't have Charlie's confidence.

It did stop raining long enough for all of us to do the Capitol Hill Classic. Carlos and I did the 10k (with Sofia), Charlie and Carlos did the 3k and Diego, Charlie and Carlos did the fun run! Here was Sofia it at the start of the race - success!

Luckily she cooperated once I got moving...the iPad helped for the last few miles. Charlie did great in the 3k - ran 9:16 minute/mile which was faster than me:)!

Cici had a birthday/going away party at their house in Virginia and Sofia stayed home with my mom. It was a huge relief to not have to worry about her after the last episode of poisoning their dog Scout. The kids had so much fun and they played so much and so intently in the huge yard. I especially loved to see them gathered under the huge tree - it felt like a happier version of the Giving Tree with the kids making the tree glow. Despite running around for 5 hours they still didn't sleep until after midnight. Something about putting 4 kids in bunk beds guarantees very little sleep.

Carlos has gotten a contract which is great news (happy to be out of the "pre-revenue" phase!) but it means that other things slip through the cracks - like Mothers Day :). oh well - sleeping in is over rated. Unfortunately I've taken up Carlos' habit of not being able to get back to sleep when woken up in the middle of the night. Sofia has been waking up and calling to me in the middle of the night. She refuses to just walk over to my bed and crawl in - she needs me to come to her....and then I spend the next two hours going through all the dark crevices of my mind.

Sofia bandaging her head with a pickle bandaid. I need one too at night these days. 

Fiascoes and Fun

Sofia literally painting her nails

It's been a fun and full few weeks of beautiful weather, visitors coming to town and first communion. The last is something I know very little about which was painfully obvious through the whole process, but it was surprisingly nice. Last Tuesday Carlos pulled a classic Carlos move and told me for a month that he had reserved the apartment for some family friends coming to town. At 6pm while I was at Charlie's baseball game in Anacostia I decided to confirm for the 500th time that he had the cleaner come and put the keys in the mailbox. "Oh, no - I thought that was for tomorrow. The apartment is full tonight. Sorry" "BUT THEY ARE ALREADY PAST BALTIMORE AND I'M IN ANACOSTIA!" "oh yeah, sorry." I called every fellow airbnb person I knew and every hotel in the area only to come up short. Meanwhile Sofia had to go poo with no bathroom in sight. Of course. I rushed home to meet our homeless guest and sent her on a walk around the neighborhood while I picked up the guest room which was littered with kid sleepover mess. It all worked out well and turned out nice that we were able to catch up over a glass of wine.  The next day Mandy and Toby arrived within 1 minutes of when Pam and Kenny left. We switched sheets and they headed out for some adventures. Toby and the boys had a lot of fun playing - especially spying on some not very exciting victims and taking in their first Nats game of the season.

A couple of hours after Mandy left Erica and her family arrived for the weekend. In advance of a big birthday this summer I've been trying to get people into town so I can spend time with old friends and Erica was nice enough to oblige. With one very, very sweet kid (Bodhi) they for sure thought we were crazy. Sofia pulled her usual tricks and wouldn't share even a truck she had never before been interested in. After a rainy start to the weekend we had a beautiful Sunday and took a bike ride down to the Lincoln Memorial and then to Yards Park where we left Erica and Sam to run to First Communion.

Some one from the church came to talk to us the previous weekend in advance of First Communion and was visibly shaken by my very brief response to her question about my relationship with God. I hate to disappoint people, but I also can't possible lie to someone from the church. Without knowing what to expect I really enjoyed the ceremony and Charlie was so proud of himself and of his suit.  It felt like a rite of passage even if not necessarily in the way it was meant. We were taken in by Ian's family afterwards to celebrate and who opened our eyes and tastebuds to a phenomenon of chocolate ravioli. Deliciousness.

Sofia remains a force to be reckoned with but also increasingly pleasant. She still leaves every friend's house in a screaming fit, but in between she is charming and affectionate. She is famous on the Brent playground among the PreK 3 and 4 girls. I can't say that she is widely liked, but she sure is well known for not actually going to school there yet....

Diego is forever my bag of sugar who will still surprise us sometimes with his sweetness. He'll randomly ask us how our day was or thank me profusely and in the most genuine way for a cup of water. He plays the card too because he'll start crying and we automatically get mad at Charlie or Sofia even if Diego instigated the fight. I also love that he loves his pottery class. He complains about going to almost any class, but not pottery.