Catching-Up

Let's play catch-up....We had a super fun time in San Francisco over Thanksgiving. Thanks to technology the cross-country trips are getting easier - the kids each had some sort of device: iphone, ipad, tablet or computer. I usually feel slightly badly about shoving screens in their face and then I remember how it would be otherwise and I move on:). Once in SF we enjoyed wonderful crisp weather, beautiful hikes, a tourist outing to Alcatraz and visits with old friends. The kids adore tia Veronika, Brian and abuela so much and I'm old news so I enjoyed having all my limbs to myself.
In the three years I lived in SF I never went to Alcatraz so it was fun to finally go. Luckily we caught a beautiful day so the view of the city was amazing and the ferry across the bay couldn't have been nicer. Even with all the little legs in our party, we managed some fun hikes through Muir woods and despite Vero being 8+ months pregnant she led us on a 4+ mile hike up the hills in Marin.
The way back from SF was luckily uneventful but very long for me. We got up at 4am to make a 6am flight and once home, I unpacked and repacked and headed back to the airport to go to Atlanta and once there I had to stay up to talk to a colleague. It was a 20 hour day. I'm way to old for those.

Christmas was also fun, but -like a birth-plan - didn't go according to plan. I had hoped to do all these christmas-y things in DC, but that didn't really happen. The boys did see a play of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas and Charlie's chorus had a christmas performance, but we missed the national christmas tree, zoo-lights and the nutcracker and no one wanted to join me at for a christmas eve mass. Seth's kids got sick so missed Christmas morning, but made it for Christmas dinner. Nevertheless it was nice to be all together for Christmas dinner and very thankful for our collective health. 

Generally I disapprove of 2017 so far, but hopefully that just means it'll only get better. We walked around Inauguration morning and ran into fellow glum faces on the Hill and then walked down to the mall to survey the crowds. Despite alternative facts it was not nearly as crowded as inaugurations past, but it was still crowded. The Women's March offered a temporary reprieve from the sadness, but the malicious and frenzied actions of the new administration make me so sad for the country. Perhaps the silver lining will be a re-invigorated civil society and a new crop of potential politicians. I know a few people who either announced they are running or are pondering the idea. that's cool.

I usually get depressed in February but today it is 60 degrees so it's hard not to feel hopeful. Sofia is actually now great 90% of the time. Her persistent personality shows up at just the wrong times but it's such an improvement that I can hardly complain. And to be fair she is probably more self-sufficient than the boys - she picks out her school clothes the night before, gets herself dressed in the morning and is usually the first by the door ready to go. Of course that has a lot to do with wanting a gummy vitamin as she walks out the door, but if I can leverage the persistent personality to achieve some semblance of peace in the morning then I'm happy to give her sugar (and then hand her off to her teacher to deal with the repercussions:)).

Fall...

Getting 3/4 of the yoga mom clan back together. wow! that's a lot of kids!

I'm not sure if Sofia is smoothing out or if I simply lost in the face of her iron personality. Or it may be a bit of both. I'd been frustrated that even though we should be moving out of survival phase now that the kids are in 3+ years old, Sofia takes up so much physical and emotional space that I don't have a free breath to do much else. She wakes up in the night demanding I come sleep next to her, wakes early and immediately starts with screaming demands for oatmeal, kicking me  if I don't move fast enough for her and won't go to sleep at night unless someone rubbed her back. The other kids have been held hostage to her behavior. I tried to put boundaries around her behavior but those been unsuccessful. I tried shutting her in her room but she just took any hard object she could find and banged it against the door so hard that the object broke and/or the door got severely dented. In hopes of keeping the door alive I gave up on that. I used a child proof door knob but clearly those aren't Sofia-proof. She dismantled that in under 10 seconds. Any rule or limit I put on things - like trying to read only 4 books before bed and not 10 so that I could also do bedtime with Diego/Charlie was met with fierce rebuke and temper-tantrums. They temper-tantrums certainly don't instill much good will or desire to read that extra books so she and I both ended up mad.

I think school is working - she uses her words more than her fists now and I've basically let go of forcing my boundaries on her. Instead I try to be  proactive in engaging her in any decision - which is tiring - and then guiding or redirect her when she starts spiraling downwards - which is even more tiring. I think, I hope, I really, really hope that she's becoming happier. I went to the doctor to talk about it and she suggested starting with alone time with Sofia during which time Sofia can be the total boss and get lots of positive reinforcement. I've been trying that and generally spending time dedicated just to her. The other weekend we spent 6 hours at the art museum together. She was so engaged and sweet until her brothers showed up 5 hours into it and the last hour went downhill.

 

As part of giving up my rules on Sofia, I gave up putting her to bed before I do any bedtime stuff with the boys. I've been feeling guilty about not working with Diego on his reading so now we practice words before Sofia goes to sleep. I'm so worried about his reading and how annoyed he gets by practicing, but the teacher seems to think he is fine. She says that his comprehension is so much higher than his reading level that he feels bored and frustrated by the books in his level. Probably true given the books my mom is reading with him and I hope that means that once he does get better at reading he will really love it. 

Charlie seems pretty good overall - he is generally really nice, has great friends, does well in school, well at soccer/baseball, well in music (joined a chorus and playing piano) and likes his new chess class. Of course I need to worry about him too so my worry is that all the well-roundedness means I don't see the depth of curiosity that I see in Diego. Diego wants to bring every artifact my mom shows him to his science teacher. He loves science and can build an intricate world - both with building materials and in his own mind. 

I guess there is always something to worry about. First it's nursing or fevers and then hitting milestones and then finding good child care and then and then and then....And this doesn't even touch on the worry I have about the current political state of affairs. On election day I dragged them to vote despite the complaints of Carlos and then burst into tears when Charlie submitted my ballot. What an amazing time in history I thought that the first presidents my kids will know are the first african-american president and the first female president. And now I've been mourning for over a week and wondering what the impact will be on the community here and across the country.

Sofia as Darth Vader, Diego the Ninja and Charlie the Vampire (again)

Sofia Starts School

First Day of Brent Elementary

For over a year now Sofia would walk around Brent Elementary like she belonged there - bossing bigger kids around and talking to the teachers. But when it came time to think about starting school she refused. And when Sofia refuses something there is little room for negotiation. I'd start to talk about school and she'd just scream her piercing scream to drown me out. She was not going. Ms Sadowsky came for a home visit and we went to visit the classroom which appeased her just enough to test it the first day. She did great. So great in fact that we got a very sweet note from her teacher. She came home beaming. She loved school....until she realized she had to go everyday and nap time was mandatory. It's been about two weeks and she loves school but hates naptime. I'm not sure if it's a proxy for another concern but naptime is bringing back the shrieking refusals. Another comical/challenging aspect is that Sofia doesn't like to wear clothes. It's been so hot recently that everyday after school she takes off her shirt and runs around half-naked. I pick my battles with her and I quickly realized that this was not one I would win.

Sofia's friend walked her to class

1/2 naked Sofia and Ruby "hiding" in the hall

Charlie has Ms Mashari who seems very nice, but his classmates aren't his favorite. It's such a bummer that he gets stuck in a class with only one friend. There are many sweet kids in his grade, but they all seem to be in a different class. Charlie does fine/well but lacks some discipline. If I ask him to do his reading, he'll wander in circles, find some toy he hasn't ever been interested in, suddenly remember a song he wanted to add to his playlist, brush his hair and basically just wait until I get increasingly annoyed about the fact that he isn't doing his reading.

Diego loves his teacher this year - Ms Yokum. She is very thoughtful, positive and never harsh. Just what Diego likes. I just hope he'll turn a corner on reading this year. He is so creative and curious - he hunts bugs and brings them to his science teacher, he loves the artifacts my mom collects and he loves to be read to but reading is not a strength.

Diego and Rupert with Cicadas on their shirts

With fall comes more work trips and I was gone all last week and will be traveling a fair amount the next few months. This last one was tough for everyone - probably because it was the first in awhile. I had to be in Geneva Labor Day Monday at 8am which was hectic timing. Everyone survived but not totally happily....

SUMMER!

Well I used to aim to write once a week, but now it looks like I am going for once a season! We had a terrific summer. We spent it in Santa Barbara and up the California coast which was a good way to avoid the 99 degree weather in DC. I was so happy to see how much my kids loved Santa Barbara. I put them in a camp run by my 5th grade teacher at my old elementary school! how cool is that?! Charlie LOVED it. He begged and begged to go a 2nd week which was a logistical challenge for us, but worth it given how much he loved it. I think it helped that he had a crush on one of the counselors in training....Diego liked zoo camp more and then they both loved skateboard camp. What's not to love about that?

After camp we'd head to the beach where they'd play for hours and not get bored. And then seemed to carry the beach home everyday in our car. My poor mom tried to vacuum the mess but it would reappear the next day. Diego especially loved the beach. He never seemed to get bored of digging in the sand or bouncing in the waves. We did have to invest in wetsuits though because we are total water wimps.  I let Diego boogie board even though he isn't a great swimmer and I think he got a little scared from getting tumbled too many times so he just liked to float on the board through the waves.

I loved it because I got to reconnect with old friends and simply enjoy the beautiful view. Spending time with Caroline and her girl Eloise were a highlight for me. I love the idea of our girls being friends.
 
The view from our house was great - Amazing what a view does for my mood. My mom was faced with the challenge of watching Sofia while the kids were in camp so she experience the full Fia Factor. Sofia is a force of nature and not one that I've been able to harness in a positive way (yet). I tried to put Sofia in zoo camp but she refused - all out screaming, flopping on the pavement, etc. Everyone loved Fiesta and we carried back extra eggs to break over people's head at some point this year....


The other fun factor was that Carlos planned a major surprise for my birthday. I had been hoping to see a bunch of people I care about but never get to see sometime during my 40th year of life and he convinced many of them to come for the weekend. He is a terrible planner, but he sure surprised me.

After SB we headed to Yosemite for some hiking and a family camp setting with the Nicolettis and then to SF for Stephanie's amazing wedding. I love weddings and I love hearing people's toasts. Stephanie's mom's toast had me in tears (in a good way!). Now we're facing the start of school and - as usual - are not totally prepared. In fact Sofia is totally refusing to go to school. Anytime I mention the idea she screams her ear-piercing, high-pitched scream and shuts down the topic. I don't know how I'm going to get her out the door and 2 blocks up the road